Things got hectic yesterday. In anticipation of my brother-in-law visiting from New Hampshire, I worked out, walked the dog and then got an early start to my day without doing my writing. I thought I’d jot something down later. Well, later never came.
So here I am the morning after, feeling guilty especially since I am leading this circle, that I hadn’t performed my obligation and written a passage on self-love. I remember one of the other gals confessing that she had missed a day, and she clearly was feeling quite a bit of guilt with that.
Yet, rather than blame or try to shove ourselves into another obligation perhaps the inquiry becomes, why? Why did everything else in the day take priority over this journey of self-discovery? Was there not a 10-minute time to break away? If we are to apologize, it should only be to ourselves. So today, I thought I’d write a letter to me, from me, explaining.
I am sorry. The day got away from me and I couldn’t seem to find 10 minutes for you today. There was a lot to be done and people to see. You, my friend, had to take a back seat to everything else in my life. That doesn’t feel very good, does it? I am sorry. Perhaps that’s where we lose control, when we are forever in reaction to other people’s priorities and agendas and lose our own identity and ability to plug in to who we truly are and what it is we desire to create next.
I am seeking to express more self-love for me. Now that we have the contrast of what not to do, do you mind if we get back on track tomorrow? I will write you then.
Until then, much love,